I am a Puritan American.

It’s true. Last night, I decided to go out and watch some TV with Marcello and Giuliana. They watch TV every night, but it always seems like they’re watching films, so I just thought I’d join in. Well, the movie ended…and on came a show, “Porta a Porta.” This is apparently a show about discussing hot topics. They bring on all kinds of people (professors, actors, authors of books, etc.) to discuss whatever subject.

Last night: Sex and Love.

At first, I’m like, whatever, sex and love. No big deal, right? But this was NO JOKE. They were talking about EVERYTHING. Does sex come before love or should it only come after? How old does sexuality begin? What is the older generation’s role in teaching healthy sexual activities? Yeah, that’s all fine and dandy…before I know what’s going on, the conversation has SWITCHED and they are suddenly talking about masturbation…wait! They’re talking about POLYGAMY. And how it’s ACCEPTABLE. One of the guests on the show (this is awesome) is a PRIEST. A priest is on a show talking about sex. Marcello checks in with me to make sure I’m understanding all the words. Whoops, there’s one I don’t know – he’s miming it to me…and oh. He’s miming a THONG. This is no big deal! Here’s another I don’t know – and now he’s telling me all the rules for playing FOOTSY.

Oh man. I’m pretty sure I didn’t stop blushing the whole time. Marcello turns to me and says, “They don’t have TV shows like this in America, do they?” I affirm his observation. “You know why, don’t you?” he says. “You guys are too moral. Puritan Americans.”

Yep, that’s me. Puritan American. I think I’m still blushing.